Dave Groves was sitting alone in a Las Vegas hotel room after an unexpected divorce when everything finally collapsed.

Three kids. No plan. Career uncertainty. And the realization that drifting any longer would quietly ruin his life. What followed was not motivation or therapy but a clear, repeatable way to regain control.

In this episode, Dave breaks down the exact method he used to rebuild clarity when life forced him to start over.

Dave Groves didn't plan to become a leadership coach.

He was working in media—radio, TV production, marketing—living what looked like a successful life. Then 2009 hit. An unexpected divorce. Three small kids.

And suddenly, everything he thought he knew shattered.

"I remember being in Las Vegas for a big event," Dave tells me. "I was in the hotel room and all of a sudden, it was like all the pressure of the last many months just kind of hit me all at once. I don't remember the last time I cried, but I broke. I just broke down."

In that moment, Dave faced a choice that defines every man's trajectory: let life happen to you, or decide what happens next.

He thought of Thoreau's quote about men leading lives of quiet desperation.

He could become one of those shells of a person, or he could find a pathway forward. That's when Dave did something most men never do: he hired a coach. A woman named Erin, probably his mother's age, who helped him see his blind spots. She didn't give him answers. She asked questions. She held up a mirror.

And slowly, Dave realized he had leadership gifts he'd been keeping boxed up.

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Fifteen years later, Dave developed the SENT method—a framework born from his own transformation and refined through coaching hundreds of men.

It's not about buzzwords or theory. It's about practical steps that work when you're lost.

See Clearly: Most men lack clarity because they're unwilling to look at what they already know. You know you need to stop eating junk food. You know you need to have that difficult conversation. You know you're avoiding the work that matters. The first step is admitting what you're avoiding. "Sometimes it takes somebody else, like a coach, helping you see what that is," Dave explains.

"You didn't even realize what that was right there in your blind spot."

Eliminate Distractions: Young leaders especially want their hands on everything. They can't delegate. They're trying to fix it all because men are fixers. But Dave's advice is stark: go through your contacts and delete people. "There are people pulling you down. They're the dream killers," he says.

Sometimes the people holding you back are the ones who mean well—they've just lost heart themselves.

Needs Assessment: What training do you lack? What skills are you missing? Most men never learned financial management, leadership principles, or how to run a business. They stumble forward with passion but no foundation. Dave asks: what are the specific areas where you're deficient?”

Once you identify them, you can learn.

Take Territory: This is the crucible moment. You've seen clearly. You've eliminated the noise. You've learned what you needed. Now you execute. You take the mountain. But here's the catch: you need people around you who will tell you the truth. Not yes-men afraid to lose access to your inner circle.

Real friends who will say, "You're going down a destructive path." M

Before we wrapped up, Dave shared an exercise that hit me hard.

Write yourself a letter explaining why you're starting this journey—your dreams, your goals, your vision. Put it away. Then, when you're discouraged and ready to quit, open it. "It's like somebody else wrote it to you," Dave says. "That was you then, that person telling you, 'Roman, you're probably reading this today and you're really discouraged. Let me tell you why we started this.'"

I actually gave this same exercise to a 21-year-old software developer I coached before this interview. He had the skills, the portfolio, and the vision. But he was stuck. No social media presence. No promotion. He knew what was missing—he just needed someone to confirm it.

That's the pattern: most men already know their problem.

They just need the courage to face it and someone to hold them accountable while they do.

Leadership expert John Maxwell studied hundreds of leaders and found only one thing that separated the successful from the unsuccessful: mindset.

That's it. Not talent. Not connections. Not luck.

"Guys that are really successful leaders are not allowing things to happen to them," Dave explains. "They're choosing how they're going to set their thoughts, their habits, and everything into place."

It's the conscious choice to wake up grateful instead of resentful. To manage your time instead of letting the clock manage you. To say no to what doesn't serve your vision so you can say yes to what does.

Dave's transformation didn't happen overnight. It took years to find his calling. But it started in that Vegas hotel room with a simple decision: I'm not going to be a victim of my circumstances.

1. Manage Your Time Like a Leader: Stop letting the day happen to you. Get your calendar organized and become intentional about every hour. Time management isn't a productivity hack—it's a mindset shift.

2. Learn to Say No: Protect your energy by eliminating what doesn't serve your vision. Delete contacts if you need to. Remove people who are pulling you back into the barrel. Strategic delegation matters more than heroic effort.

3. Practice Gratitude Daily: Wake up and consciously choose positivity. It's not toxic optimism—it's recognizing what you have instead of only seeing what you lack. Gratitude changes your self-talk, which changes everything.

4. Write to Your Future Self: Explain why you're starting this journey today. Put it away. When you're ready to quit, read it. That past version of you will remind you why this matters.

5. Get a Coach or Accountability Partner: You can't see your own blind spots. Find someone who will ask challenging questions and tell you the truth, even when it's uncomfortable.

The same choice is available to you right now.

Talk soon,

Roman